To The Fairest

“Friendzone” and “Nice Guys”

cruentamors:

“I am such an awesome person that I am going to get close to this girl just so I can have sex with her and when she decides I am a nice person and tells me she’d like for us to be friends, I am going to be passive-aggressive about it and complain that I have been ‘friendzoned’ and that most women are bitches who don’t appreciate nice guys.”

— Every “nice guy”, ever (via cruentamors)

Hey, fuck you. I’ve been friendzoned plenty of times and it sucks. I don’t fucking try to get close to girls just for sex. I want to get in a fucking relationship because I like you, not for that. Maybe you’ve been hanging around the wrong kind of “nice guys” because trust me, there are plenty of the real ones. We’re the shy kids who can barely get the courage to speak to you. We’re the ones that you dismiss immediately because maybe we’re not as good-looking or outgoing as some others. We’re the ones who like you but don’t ever even tell you because we’re too awkward, and too afraid that if we said it you wouldn’t want to be friends with us anymore. So fuck you. nice guys aren’t underapreciated, we’re unnoticed.

—An actual “nice guy”

No. Fuck you, sir. This “nice guy” martyr complex is such bullshit. You befriend a girl, and end up with feelings for her? That’s great. She is under absolutely no obligation to return those feelings. Being “friendzoned” is not a thing. It’s not real. It’s bullshit that “nice guys” bitch about. If you developed a friendship with a girl, you don’t get to be an ass about it if she doesn’t see you as more than a friend. Because that’s what you are- her friend. Although people like you- the ones who have the nerve to bitch and moan about being “friendzoned”- you weren’t really ever their friends. You had romantic ulterior motives from the beginning. You had that expectation that at some point, you wouldn’t have to play at being her friend, but would instead be her boyfriend. You entered that friendship under false pretenses and you were never her friend.

And guess what? You’re whining about how “nice guys” are too shy, not bold enough, not attractive enough, etc? I can guarantee you, you do the same thing that you’re claiming women do. You’ve ignored, dismissed, or scorned at least one girl who had feelings for you, but was too shy to say anything, or not pretty enough to catch your eye, or was “friendzoned” by you. Why do you seem to think that this is something that only happens to guys? Why do you think that “nice guys” are somehow special in this respect?

Why is it so baffling for “nice guys” to realize these few basic points:
1) You’re shy? There are plenty of shy girls, too. You’re not special just because you’re timid around the opposite sex.
2) You’re nice? Great. Good for you. So are a lot of other people.
3) You’re not “unnoticed”. Obviously, if you’ve been “friendzoned”. It means the girl sees you as a friend, which is presumably something she values, or she’d probably just tell you to fuck off and stop returning your texts or something. So no. You’re not unnoticed. Get over yourself. You aren’t entitled to her heart.
4) It doesn’t matter how “nice” you are, or how much you like her. This doesn’t make her magically have feelings for you. And you don’t get to piss and moan about how it’s just because you’re such a “nice guy” when a girl doesn’t return your affection. It’s not because all girls want to date assholes and you’re “too nice”, it’s not because she doesn’t notice you. It’s because she doesn’t see you romantically. Sucks, but we all go through that, so again, there’s not a goddamn thing that’s special about a “nice guy” being “friendzoned”. There’s probably not a single person who’s never had a crush on a friend and had those feelings unreturned. So again, get over it.